After a parent, relative or friend dies, you may be surprised to learn that you were chosen to be the Executor of his or her estate. You might think of your appointment as an honor, a mark of trust and an indicator of how highly the decedent valued your relationship. In truth, being chosen as an Executor can also feel like a burden, an obligation you might not want to tackle for any number of reasons.
Do You Want to Serve as Executor?
The first thing you should know is that you can decline the job and let it pass to someone else. Every estate and family situation is unique. Many factors will influence the amount of work an Executor will need to do: the size of the estate, the type of assets owned by the decedent, the number of debts the decedent had, how well the beneficiaries get along, the quality of decedent’s Will and Trust(s), and your state's laws.
Here are some factors that can help you decide.
Practical Considerations
- Being the Executor of an estate is time-consuming. It can be hard for you to be effective in this role if you work full time or have a family.
- Because of the time commitment and possible stressors that come from dealing with family members, creditors, and professionals in the probate arena, being the Executor of an estate can wear you down if you have personal health problems. This is equally true if you are caring for another family member and cannot spare the time or energy.
- If you live outside the state where the decedent lived, that alone may cause you to decline being the Executor of the estate. Physical distance, time difference, and other factors make an already complex job even harder to manage.
Emotional and Family Dynamic Reasons
Concerns regarding death can bring out the worst in people. Even families that generally get along well can have fractures, arguments, and bad feelings during the loss of a parent or grandparent. Many complex issues such as grief and jealousies over “who got what” come up and can alter relationships. The Executor of the estate is often the brunt of beneficiaries' fear and anger. And, if you are one of those family members grieving, this added burden can make an already difficult time significantly worse.
Issues of Temperament
Being a good Executor carries with it a requirement to be fair and even-tempered. That can be hard under the best circumstances. But, during a period of bereavement, it might seem Herculean. Some things to consider:
- A good Executor must be careful, patient, thorough, organized and committed to doing a good job. The amount of detail and minutiae is significant.
- An Executor must have excellent people skills. There is a large professional community involved in the process (bankers, accountants, realtors, appraisers and other agents) that you will need to tap to do your job well. You will need to deal respectfully with troublesome family members and dependent beneficiaries.
- Stepping into a key decision-making role when you’re in the midst of grieving for a loved one can feel overwhelming. The task list is huge and the risk of making a significant mistake (like improperly distributing the inheritance or paying creditors that have low priority) is very real.
If the prospect of acting as the Executor under a Will seems overwhelming, consider hiring experienced trust and estate counsel to guide you or handle the entire probate process. Attorney fees are paid through the estate. When you hire an estate settlement attorney to help you take a parent’s Will through probate, you are still involved in the overall proceedings and provide valuable family knowledge to assure the best outcome. Hiring an experienced attorney honors your loved one’s wishes to get through probate in a timely and fair manner. Knowledgeable assistance reduces your risk of making a critical mistake (for which you are literally liable!).
